My coming out story
Tuesday 31 March is International Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV), an annual event dedicated to celebrating transgender people and raising awareness of the discrimination they continue to face worldwide.
After much deliberation, mailscreener, Nathaniel McPark from Aberdeen Mail Centre decided to socially transition and ‘come out’ in different ways.
‘I used to speak to my sister, who is 10 years younger than me, about how I was feeling and my thoughts about everything. At the time, I considered myself as transmasculine. This is someone who is assigned female at birth, but identifies more as masculine, and I was content with that.
‘My sister was the first person I told unofficially, but I still wasn’t feeling 100% myself. Like many people, I went through the motions of thinking “am I non-binary?” or “am I transmasculine?” Being transmasculine wasn’t enough for me, however, because the physical element wasn’t there. I had to physically be a man and not just a masculine female. So, at the beginning of this year, I came out as transgender.
‘I wasn’t sure how my dad would react to the news, so I sent him a hypothetical text message to gauge what his reaction might be. Fortunately, it turned out to be positive. Even at this point though, I still wasn’t sure about telling him right away. I sat on it for a couple of days before telling him officially and stating how I wished to be addressed going forward. He took to it like a duck to water and told me “as long as you are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters”. I think he’s just happy to have the son he always wanted. He’s been really supportive from day one of both me and my partner, who is also Trans.
‘I knew very well how my mother would react to my being trans. Of course, she found out before I had a chance to tell her, which then led to an argument, but I was correct in my assumption that she wouldn’t take to the news of my decision to be myself too kindly. I tried to talk to her several times about what it’s like to be in my shoes. I even wrote her a letter, which led to us having a meeting and her bursting into tears. But to this day, however, she denies my pronouns and name change and this has led to our relationship going sour very quickly.
‘Around the same time as all this was happening, I was thinking about how I should bring up the subject of my transitioning at work. I put off mentioning it a couple of times before I finally stepped up to the mark and just did it to get it over with. Who would have thought it would be so difficult to open up about yourself?
‘I was very nervous, but the response was really positive and there were many questions asked with genuine interest. Since my meeting with my shift manager, I’ve had control over what information was released about me (and when), which has greatly eased my workplace transition.
‘I’ve now had my first appointment for diagnosis of gender dysphoria, which means I am one step closer to becoming the physical man I am meant to be. Not only that, I have been made the LGBT+ champion for Aberdeen Mail Centre where I have an opportunity to make Royal Mail a more LGBT+-friendly company to work for.
‘Being transgender is not always a pleasant experience, but I hope I can help others in the same position as me to get to where they want to be.’
Supporting our Transgender colleagues
Our Trans* network is a sub-group of our LGBT+& Friends steering group. To date, the Trans* network, which was set up in 2015, has supported a number of colleagues who were struggling with transgender issues. If you have any questions about transgender issues or any other LGBT-related subject, please contact LGBT&Friends@royalmail.com.
