Special guy
Tuesday 19 November was International Men’s Day and as part of a week celebrating the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities, a number of colleagues have very kindly agreed to share their stories.
Today, we hear from deployment lead Paul Hodnett.
‘In March 2006 my brother-in-law and his partner had a baby boy named Travis. Both parents were drug users and as a result, Travis was born with neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS), a condition caused when a baby withdraws from certain drugs they’re exposed to in the womb before birth.
‘After spending the first 28 days of his life being strictly monitored in hospital, Travis was taken into care by Greenwich social services and placed in a foster home. Over the next six months, my wife, mother-in-law and I talked about how we could keep Travis in our lives. We visited Travis twice a week and bonded closely with him. My children, Harry and Florence (16 and 11 at the time) were involved in our conversations and visits and we worked closely with social services to maintain access.
‘Social services made it clear that we could become foster parents through the friends and family scheme. If we didn’t do this, then Travis would be put up for adoption. This was never going to happen.
‘After a lot of discussion, we all decided that the best course of action was for my mother-in-law Jan, to become the primary foster parent for Travis, and my wife, Maria and I would provide weekend respite care. In early 2007, Travis began living with Jan. Travis came to us every Friday afternoon and stayed with us until Sunday evening. This arrangement worked really well as both Maria and I were working full-time during the week. Travis started to grow and flourish as a young child and my own children supported us in caring for him.
‘In June 2007, Jan had a massive heart attack and was taken to hospital. At that point, Travis came to live with us full-time. This was clearly going to be a massive change for all of us and my children agreed that it was a choice we were all willing to make. Social services were brilliant with us and arranged help and support with childcare while we were working.
‘Over time, Jan slowly recovered. We continued to be Travis`s foster parents but we knew in our hearts, that we wanted more for Travis. After numerous social worker visits and family discussions, we decided that the best course of action was to adopt Travis and officially make him our son. He was already calling us mum and dad and my children already saw him as their little brother.
‘In October 2010 we went to court and signed an adoption certificate to make the whole process official. We always celebrate this day each year as ‘Special Guy Day’.
‘Moving forward nine years, I can honestly say that Travis has enriched all of our lives. He is a kind, loving, funny young teenager, who is dearly loved by my friends and family. He can be cheeky, like any teenager, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Jan sadly passed away two years ago, but she died in the knowledge that all her grandchildren were loved and being looked after in a loving family environment.
‘I don’t seek any recognition for the decision I made to adopt Travis. I believe that in life, we have a purpose for being here and if mine was to give Travis a better life, then so be it. I don’t feel that I’ve done anything more than any decent human being would have done. If I can inspire others in a similar situation to make the right choice, that would be recognition enough. I would like to praise my children, Harry and Florence – they’re the finest children I could wish to be a father to. To take Travis into their hearts as they did will always be greatly appreciated by Maria and I.’
Carers Rights Day 2019
Thursday 21 November is Carers Rights Day. Whether you are a new carer or have been caring for someone for a while, we believe that it’s important that you understand your rights and are able to access the support that is available to you as soon as you need it.
Many of our people balance parental and caring responsibilities with their career. Our Parents & Carers steering group advocates for carers and offers support to those who need it.
