Cathal’s story

As we near the final month of our 2019 Ops Fundraising Challenge, today we hear from Cathal, a student from Northern Ireland, who took part in Action for Children’s pioneering mental health initiative, the Blues Programme.

Cathal took part in the Blues Programme after he began experiencing increasingly negative feelings about himself.

‘Throughout the course he learned how to accept himself, coming out as gay to his friends and family. He has since created art inspired by the course and tries to promote positive mental health with his work. 

Cathal was enrolled onto the course after isolating himself from his friends and family as he struggled through what he described as ‘very dark times’ alone.

‘I was very snappy,’ he said. ‘I would isolate myself because I felt like a volcano. I was in denial, living in fear and confused.’

At the beginning of the course, Cathal would sit doodling in a sketchbook avoiding eye contact with the rest of the group. He was nervous to speak out as he struggled to work through everything in his head.

‘At the start I was always quiet and would just draw during sessions,’ said Cathal. ‘I just wanted to figure out a way to accept myself.’

After a few weeks he began to feel more comfortable and started joining in with the conversations. He said: ‘I talked more and began figuring out ways to deal with my problems. The biggest impact now is that it gave me the confidence to come out to my family that I’m gay. After that I started to take part a lot more.

‘It also helped me accept that myself. Before I would have just bottled it up and stuck it down saying: “No it’s stupid, it’s daft, it’s wrong.” But now I feel like I can be myself. I’m a lot happier and more confident now.’

While Cathal has now finished the programme and discovered a way to accept himself, he admits he still has hard days. ‘There are still some really dark times,’ he said. ‘But I’m able to cope and work through them to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. 

‘Through the Blues Programme I’ve learned how to deal with negativity with positive counter thoughts. This works by creating a healthy way to deal with your problems.’

Cathal has always used art as an output to deal with his feelings, and since the programme ended, he has happily expressed himself with painting, depicting his emotional wellbeing as well as portraits of the various LGBT+ icons he admires.

‘I created a piece of a skull with different layers conveying how I felt,’ he said. ‘Because I am dyslexic, I struggle with reading and writing so it helps me communicate through art. 

‘The things I painted and drew, I’d never spoken about before. I basically poured out onto paper how I felt and my thoughts and all the negativity I had inside into my pieces.’

Since completing the six-week course, Cathal has become an advocate for people getting mental health support. ‘There is a stigma around talking about mental health and I used to beat myself up a lot worrying about what people thought.

‘But the main thing to remember is that people are not alone and there are others going through the same thing. You don’t need to be in denial or fear because there is help available. 

‘There isn’t enough support out there for young people. There’s been I don’t know how many suicides in the local area, it’s a clear sign that something definitely needs to be done.’